The Parable of the Chinese Farmer
Once there was a Chinese farmer who worked his poor farm together with his son and their horse. When the horse ran off one day, neighbors came to say, “How unfortunate for you!” The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
When the horse returned, followed by a herd of wild horses, the neighbors gathered around and exclaimed, “What good luck for you!” The farmer stayed calm and replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
While trying to tame one of wild horses, the farmer’s son fell, and broke his leg. He had to rest up and couldn’t help with the farm chores. “How sad for you,” the neighbors cried. “Maybe yes, maybe no,” said the farmer.
Shortly thereafter, a neighboring army threatened the farmer’s village. All the young men in the village were drafted to fight the invaders. Many died. But the farmer’s son had been left out of the fighting because of his broken leg. People said to the farmer, “What a good thing your son couldn’t fight!” “Maybe yes, maybe no,” was all the farmer said.
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I have had the opportunity to teach the principle of judging decisions on occasion. This has to be one of my more favorite concepts that we all somehow fail to realize. However, once you become aware of it, it becomes a wonderful tool to use in self-love, acceptance, building confidence and helping our understanding of things around us.
Like this parable, the farmer leans towards an attitude of acceptance rather than judgement. Maybe it is generalizing, but I do believe we tend to toil over decision making. But if that weren't enough, when the outcome of our decision is less than expected. We then proceed to beat ourselves up for making what we now classify as the "WRONG" decision, and berate ourselves for our masterful ability to make poor choices with amazing consistency.
I dare say, but this is an absolute falsehood; and I will explain.
-We make hundreds and thousands of decisions on a daily bases. To say that we cannot make good choices is really something that needs to be reflected on accurately. More than likely, the evidence of your decision making experiences would prove a greater rate in successful choices than not. So what goes wrong? Is it us, is it the experience itself, or is it actually in the expectation.
I dare say, but this is an absolute falsehood; and I will explain.
-We make hundreds and thousands of decisions on a daily bases. To say that we cannot make good choices is really something that needs to be reflected on accurately. More than likely, the evidence of your decision making experiences would prove a greater rate in successful choices than not. So what goes wrong? Is it us, is it the experience itself, or is it actually in the expectation.
Well, the truth is, we err in our tendency to judge a decision based on its outcome, rather than the information that we used to make it in the first place.
...Let's say you are in a bit of a hurry, so you choose to drive down a back road to avoid the rush hour traffic in the hopes of saving some time. You approach the street, and make your turn to find that there is a road crew fixing a pot hole in right in the middle of the street.
They stop you, and you find yourself delayed by the work before you now, rather than the rush hour traffic after all.
...Let's say you are in a bit of a hurry, so you choose to drive down a back road to avoid the rush hour traffic in the hopes of saving some time. You approach the street, and make your turn to find that there is a road crew fixing a pot hole in right in the middle of the street.
They stop you, and you find yourself delayed by the work before you now, rather than the rush hour traffic after all.
So now, be honest, what would you say to yourself. What does your inner-self dialogue truly sound like, and yes, how do you now perceive the success of your decision.
This is where we stand to open our understanding. For with all the facts in place, you had no idea that they were there, nor would you have any reason to have expected them working on the back street at that particular moment.
Had they not been, would you have praised yourself for your clever and quick wit thinking. Or when things did and do not go your way, do you then beat yourself up as if you should've been expected to have had more, or better information than actually you did?
This is where we stand to open our understanding. For with all the facts in place, you had no idea that they were there, nor would you have any reason to have expected them working on the back street at that particular moment.
Had they not been, would you have praised yourself for your clever and quick wit thinking. Or when things did and do not go your way, do you then beat yourself up as if you should've been expected to have had more, or better information than actually you did?
So what is my point and what should we bring to the table the next time you make a decision. It is simple. Make the best decision that you can in the moment that you have with whatever information is available. Do it with the acceptance that in all actuality, you do not have control of any outcome. This is the reality that we all live in. Choices are good in the moment which you do your best making them. If they do not go your way, remember, there is something to be learned. They (the outcomes) are always opportunities of learning and growth, but judge it to be nothing more.
We are all human, and there will always exist a natural consequence to the things we do. Those too, are opportunities to grow, good or bad. But praise yourself for making decisions, and have the awareness to grow from each and every one. This is your life, your moment, and you and I, well all of us are all working to become the best self we can be one decision at a time.
much love...sj
We are all human, and there will always exist a natural consequence to the things we do. Those too, are opportunities to grow, good or bad. But praise yourself for making decisions, and have the awareness to grow from each and every one. This is your life, your moment, and you and I, well all of us are all working to become the best self we can be one decision at a time.
much love...sj
